"Its crazy, but sometimes women actually dress for their comfort...and not men's. Crazy concept!"
This is an actual quote from a friend of a friend on a Facebook status. This Facebook status was one of those social-media rants that people have because they can't actually rant to someone in person at the time (you're smiling because you do it, too). This particular rant was one of my favorites: leggings as pants. Not gonna lie; it's immodest, gross and uncomfortable for everyone around you, not matter how they look on you. My exception would be if the base of your spine is covered (butt) and/or you're coming from/going to a work-out class. Example: my roommate practically lives in her zumba pants, but my roommate practically lives zumba. It's fitting. She doesn't wear them to work, to the store, or when we go dancing. Nope, they're workout pants. Seems pretty clear. That was simply so you know where I stand. Here's my real point: dressing for comfort.
Before I start, I'd like to place this disclaimer: comfort is NOT meant for all areas of our lives. Growing in the virtue of charity means being uncomfortable, giving more of yourself, so don't apply these principles.
Time and time again, I hear women talk about how uncomfortable they are, but they wear certain uncomfortable items because they're "cute". Let's be honest; as women, we all desire to be beautiful. We desire to be seen as beautiful. It's an innate part of our hearts, and it's a basic desire of all women. What's funny about this is it seems to be the theme of fallen humanity: wanting something we already have as part of our nature. This isn't a new problem; it's really the oldest problem of all. Just take a look at Genesis 3, and you'll see how this is the oldest problem in the world: humanity desires to be like God because a seed of doubt placed within them from the most evil of manipulators. All the while, God has already created them to be LIKE him (Genesis 1:26 "God said, 'Let us make man in our image, after our LIKEness.' "). Old news to many people reading this blog, but I'm just ranting on the root of the issue here: recognize that what you desire you ALREADY possess.
What's true is that women are already beautiful. Women are already radiating a beauty far beyond comprehension, the kind that makes people stop dead in their tracks. Women carry within them a power that is beyond the comprehension of even our very selves, and we crave that power. Seems a little redundant, no? At the risk of sounding a little cheap or trite, I dare to tell you that you're beautiful, powerful and inspiring, over the internet, without ever meeting you. You probably hear it all the time, but ignore it. "They're just saying it to make me feel ok." "They didn't see the way I treated my child, roommate, spouse, coworker, mother, father, sister, friend, etc. this morning, so they wouldn't really think I'm beautiful." Knock it off, take a compliment, and take your self-talk and lies to prayer.
Amid all this angst, frustration, self-talk, lying to ourselves, etc, we have to realize one lie: "Beauty is pain." We joke about it: "I need my beauty sleep." We do things that make us hurt ourselves: plucking eyebrows. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-waxing, shaving; I'm just trying to use this to prove my point. Shoot, I do it all, too. However, I will not, I refuse, I cannot, wear something uncomfortable all day. (Unless it's a bridesmaid dress that the bride really, really, really wanted. That's only happened one time out of ten, so, hush!)
My desire is to be beautiful, to look nice, to dress as a professional, because that's what I am. I do my hair, I wear makeup. I wear business casual, business dress or business professional every day of the week. I also wear heels almost every day. Let's be clear: I'm rarely uncomfortable. I have a job that asks me to sit most of the day, therefore heels are practical. I'm only 5 feet tall, and often I'm in meetings where I need to be in a position of authority, so I utilize the heels to give me a little more stature with which to work. And they're adorable. AND THEY'RE COMFORTABLE. I started taking notes on how I live this out in my own life, and I came up with the following list for your shopping enjoyment:
1. Don't shop when it's dire. This is one of those life skills that comes with adulthood. We always talk about not grocery shopping when we're hungry, so let's apply the same concept. Don't shop when the situation is desperate, if you can help it. "I need a new dress for this big meeting that's in two days!" That's desperation. Simply put something together in your closet that you already have. Have your girlfriends help you; sometimes they see things you can't see yourself. Try to stay ahead of the curve by having a variety of items already on-hand in your closet like a blazer for big meetings, an LBD for dates, etc.
2. Hit sales. There are some places near where I live that you really have to be in a mood to go to, like Last Chance. But there are some places that eventually run sales on everything in the store: Target (clearance dresses are THE BEST), New York and Company, Forever 21, H&M. Sometimes these items don't last very long (price is low for a reason), so don't try to wear them out! Hitting sales lessens your guilt for buying.
3. Don't shop alone. Jesus is the Lord of Light, right? The best way in order to rid yourself of darkness is to bring things to light. This is a practical tip in living virtue, that I'm applying to shopping. Just try to stop me. Having accountability from the right friend, sister, mother, etc. while shopping will keep you from the impulse buys, buying something you'll never wear, or over-spending.
4. Set a spending budget. I'm a Dave Ramsey fan, so this speaks for itself. Don't take your credit card; set a limit for yourself. In the words of Bon Qui Qui, "Don't get crazy."
5. If you fidget with it now, you'll always fidget with it. Simple, easy enough, but how many times do we buy things that are just slightly uncomfortable while in the fitting room, and then they become a burden when it's worn all day?
6. Try all positions in the fitting room. Find a chair and sit in it. Sit in it while looking in a mirror (modesty, gals). Bend over, lift something (like your purse), pretend to drive a car, hold a baby. Try to do what you do on a daily basis while in the fitting room. You'll feel ridiculous, and you'll probably look a little silly, but at least you'll be informed on your purchase! And who DOESN'T need a little more humility. :)
7. Subtle platforms, squishy bottoms. I always get asked, "How can you wear those SHOES?!" That's the answer: subtle platforms and squishy bottoms. Things that are created to make shoes more comfortable. Also, there's a line of shoes you can find at DSW created specifically for brides and bridesmaids; buy them. They're comfy as all get-out because they're made for standing all day.
8. Be practical. I sit at a desk most of the day, writing curricula, tweeting, answering email and planning. If you're in a job that requires to you to be on your feet all day, don't wear six-inch heels. There are wedges, flats, boots or otherwise, that are fashionable and practical. Teachers, I'm looking at you.
9. Just fun and not dysfunctional. When did dressing become such a burden? When did we stop being little girls who played dress-up for fun and become insecure women who try on several outfits before leaving the house? Have some fun with this! When you're wearing something you know looks good on you, you feel good about yourself.
These aren't the only ways to dress fashionably and comfortably, but these are tips that I use personally. Ladies, let's get out there and be counter-cultural.
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